Dementia

So I'm not an expert on dementia. I've just worked in health care for quite a number of years and have been first hand observer of the difficulties and challenges dementia poses both to the person with dementia and the family, especially the spouse. I am now a child of a person with dementia. A weekend with my mom who has mild/moderate dementia and my dad is trying at best. I really feel for my dad who has to deal with this 24/7. He is still in a denial phase and this is evidenced by his trying to blame my mom for her forgetfulness. She doesn't forget things to annoy him on purpose. But I'm sure having to deal with repeated questioning of small things would become an irritant quickly. At least she is still pleasantly confused!

Today we managed to convince mom to do the open house tour of a retirement village. She really loves her home with its postage stamp view of the Puget Sound and Olympic Mountains. She said today that this was her dream home. So it was a huge step for her to consent to even a tour! I wish she could stay in this house until she passes but I'm afraid that the two of them just can't take care of everything that needs to be done.

While on the tour she seemed impressed. The apartments are spacious, the amenities generous. The price tag per month quite rich. But at least it is a start. My sister and I would like the parents to think about moving before something traumatic happens. I have invited them to move in with us but back to the problem with mom's postage stamp view. Dad has been more than willing to consider other options since he is beginning to feel his age, especially with regard to home up keep. They picked up an information packet and we'll see where this goes. It's going to take months to declutter their home but I am willing to help, especially if it is planned in advance.

So if any of you knows someone with dementia, be extra kind to the family and caregivers. Their emotional fuses may be quite short.